Prepare for Orktober: Ready Yer WAAAGH!

Ah, Orktober! A time when the air hums with the sound of clanking metal, and every hobby desk groans under the weight of unpainted greenskins. There’s no better time to revel in the chaos that is an Ork army. But how, you ask, does one properly prepare for such a glorious month of carnage? Well, pull up a chair, my dear grot, and I’ll tell you how to gear up for the loudest, messiest, and most orky time of the year.

First things first: you’ll need a mob. Not a squad, not a handful, but a mob. Orks don’t do subtle. And neither should you. Open up that shame pile and dig out every boy, nob, and grot you’ve been neglecting. Orks work best in numbers, and Orktober is about one thing: more. If it’s green, it’s in.

Now, on to the priming. No need for fancy techniques. A good ol’ black undercoat to begin, followed by a zenithal spray of white to give your boyz a nice bit of contrast. No, we’re not after art here—we’re after speed. Orks aren’t fussed about perfect shading or immaculate lines. They just want to get stuck in, and you should too.

Speaking of speed, you’ll want to embrace a fast and dirty painting method. Ork skin? Slap on some green. Guns? A bit of rusty metal will do. And don’t forget red. Red makes it go faster, as every good ork knows. But remember, Orks are a horde, not a showpiece. This isn’t a time for blending and layering. If you’re still fussing over a single model after ten minutes, you’re doing it wrong.

Then, the bit that makes Orktober truly shine—conversions. Orks are natural-born scavengers, and so are you. Got a broken model? Orky it up. Random bits of sprue? Turn it into a looted wagon. The more ridiculous, the better. Orks don’t care if it makes sense; they just care if it looks brutal and loud.

Finally, and most importantly, get into the spirit of it. Don’t just paint—WAAAGH! while you do it. Channel the madness and energy of the Orks themselves. Laugh at the absurdity, cheer for every choppa, and remember: in the grimdark of the far future, the greenskins aren’t just surviving—they’re having a bloody good time doing it.

So, my fellow warbosses, as Orktober approaches, ready your brushes, sharpen your hobby knives, and most importantly, let loose the WAAAGH. It’s not about finesse. It’s about more choppas, more boyz, and the sheer joy of absolute chaos on the battlefield. Get stuck in, and may Gork (or possibly Mork) guide your hand!

WAAAGH!